April 10, 2016   |   Janaya Jackson

website natural picI want and am deserving of being a man’s top choice. Without question I’m the girl that you choose with your whole heart. I am the women that you deny being distracted for. I am the women that you reassure of the fact that I am all you need, desire, and ever hoped for. Authentic, and destined love reminds you of your value, it will never cause you to question it. I’m a woman, a strong beautifully intelligent, and passionate woman. I’m not the kind of woman you can hold abyss while you determine if I qualify for obtaining your heart. If I have to question my place or ranking in your life, then respectfully I will remove myself from it. I’ve done more damage to my own heart waiting around for individuals who were not worthy of doing so, to rank my value. Without question I am dope, incredibly dope. What makes me dope? My heart. A heart that loves authentically is the most beautiful thing any human being can possess. I love deeply. I protect and take care of those that I love. I give my last, even when I don’t know where or when my next is coming from. I become alive and am awakened at the mere thought of helping another. I’m a product of this truth: beautiful things can be birthed in ugly situations. I celebrate the beauty and success of others genuinely. What else makes a woman beautifully dope? A forgiving heart. I am beautiful because I choose to forgive. I won’t and don’t allow another’s action to distort or redefine what love really is. Being right, is not as important to me as being love.

What I love most about myself is the fact that I fought to become the woman that stands before you today. I was born into brokenness, and secrecy. The enemy intended for me to become and stay this broken being with no knowledge of her worth. And for a while that was my chosen identity. But God. I am not afraid to face and address what is scary or unknown. If there is a challenge and an option to walk away from one, my choice will always be to face what is challenging. You see the circumstances that I just mentioned being born into birthed a strength in me. Thank you Jesus. I am beautiful because I am not afraid.

I’m a future wife, mother (this will be a miracle, but one you should certainly stick around to witness), and counselor. I set goals and then obtain them. I’m a nurturer. I am loyal, passionate, honest, and confident. My confidence is in this fact: God loves me, and created me in His perfection. Because of this truth, I win. I always win, even when the “odds are against me” I win. One of my favorite quotes is “be your own kind of beautiful” I am most proud of my own beauty because there were so many barriers I had to get through in order to discover it. Now that I have, I’ll never forget. Once, after advising an ex that I was breaking up with him, he told me “who else is going to want you? You’re fat, ugly and you’ve got those things on you face and neck” I use to think back on that moment and moments like it and carry deep pain. But God. You see, now I know that being beautiful is rooted in Christ. And beauty? Well, it’s only skin deep.